The Rise of the Kidult: Why Adult Children Still Need Their Parents — and Why That's Not a Failure

As Published in DWC Weekly Magazine

It's 6:30pm on a Saturday. They're 23. Dressed, ready, phone in hand.

“Can you give me a lift?”

You pause. It's 20 minutes out of your way. You could say no. But you say yes. Because here's the thing — they're in your car now. They can't escape. You get 20 minutes.

“Who are you going with?” “Do you have money?” “What's the plan for getting home?” “Drink water. Pace yourself.”

By question three, they roll their eyes. “That's your third question. No more.” You both laugh.

But underneath it? Connection. Reassurance. A quiet exhale for you later that night. That's not control. That's care, learning to evolve.

So, What Is a “Kidult”?

A kidult is typically an adult — often in their twenties or thirties — who still leans on patterns of dependence or emotional behaviours associated with earlier life stages. This isn't entirely new, but what has changed is how long this phase lasts and how visible it has become. Longer education, rising living costs, delayed milestones, and more involved parenting styles have all played a role. But dependence doesn't always signal failure — it can also reflect the complexity of the world they're growing up in.

This Isn't New… But It Is Different

There was a time when responsibility wasn't something we taught — it was something children lived. Older siblings helped raise younger ones. Families worked as units. In many cultures, that still exists, with care for elders seen as a natural extension of family life. Today, we have more options: independent living, external care, different financial realities. Not everyone is equipped to care for ageing parents, and that doesn't make them wrong. The real challenge is holding onto respect and connection whilst adapting to change.

The Blurred Line — When Do Roles Reverse?

The transition from child to adult to carer used to feel clearer. Now it's not. Some adults are still finding their footing whilst parents begin stepping into stages where they may need support themselves. What happens when those timelines overlap? When the ones who may one day care for you are still learning how to care for themselves? That's where the tension sits.

The Phone Call

You haven't heard from them in a few days. Then your phone rings — and you already know. They need something. And yes, sometimes that's true. But then there are the other moments — the calls when they're driving, an hour on the motorway, and they just talk. About work. About stress. About dreams they don't say out loud anywhere else. Those conversations matter. They're connection without pressure — adulthood still reaching back for safety.

Are We Helping… or Enabling?

It's a question many parents quietly carry. Because sometimes helping them also helps us — it eases our worry, keeps us feeling needed, gives us a sense of control. Support sounds like: “I'm here — let's talk it through.” Enabling sounds like: “I'll fix it for you.” The difference is simple, but living it isn't always easy.

The Fine Line — Support Without Control

This is where the real work is. Being there without taking over. Loving without managing. Guiding without directing. Sometimes it sounds like: “This is yours to figure out — but I'm here if you want to talk.” Because independence isn't built through advice — it's built through experience.

Families are like trees. The trunk stays steady whilst the branches grow in all directions — some straight, some uneven, some shaped by storms you didn't see coming. They don't all grow the same way, but they're still connected. Still part of the same whole.

Your kidults are still part of your tree. And you are still their roots — even when they don't say it out loud.

Because the real shift isn't from parenting to letting go. It's from raising them… to respecting who they're becoming.